Prove You Are Human

Have you been surprised by things that pop up in adulthood that you were not prepared for in years of school and gaining professional experience?

I have to admit, when I was growing and studying and preparing for adulthood and all it would entail, I didn’t realize that so much of it would be dedicated to figuring out which boxes have buses in them so I could prove I am human. Sometimes it takes me quite a bit of time to determine which similar looking vehicles actually count as a “bus” and which are a van or a truck.

As leaders, do we expect people to prove they are human? Or to prove we are not?

Sometimes, a workplace leader encourages us to “leave the personal at the door.” I have a friend who was very happy and successful in his organization until there was a change in leadership. His new manager valued those who worked late, even if there wasn’t anything special going on. It didn’t matter how early my friend was willing to come in or how many times he worked straight through lunch or how successfully he completed everything he was asked to do. The organization actually had a stated “end of the work day” time designated in the employee manual. But if my friend left at that time, he was criticized.

In fact, this manager started calling my friend “the family man” in a mocking way. She knew he had young children and a long commute and was leaving on time so he could be home for family dinner. He was a good worker who got everything done. But as long as he was “the family man,” he was never going to be recognized for his work. It probably won’t surprise you to hear he left the organization just a few months after the new manager took over. He is now working somewhere new where leaders value work and family and help employees live a balanced life. He is now working where leaders value the humanity in human beings.

As Shakespeare said, “Touch’d with human gentleness and love,/ Forgive a moiety of the principal” (Merchant of Venice).

As humans, we are certainly not perfect. We do, however, have a capacity for goodness and caring that leaders should value. In Merchant of Venice, the Duke is calling on someone to lean into the part of himself that is most human, the has a capacity for gentleness and love. It’s not always there, but as leaders we are well-served when we value and appreciate it.

Prove we are human? Turns out that’s better than proving we are not. What can leaders do?

• Assume the best about people. You may not have the same values they do, but recognize the importance of theirs.
• Don’t expect everyone to approach work the way you do. Allow for differences.
• Never stoop to ridicule or sarcasm. Be kind.

Whether 400 years ago or today, value and encourage “human gentleness and love.”